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Understanding Men: Peeling The Onion

The book was called "Peeling The Onion" and it was about a girl who got into a car accident and had to rebuild her confidence up to allow people to love her. The onion is a great metaphor for this article because it emphasizes how we as people behave in society. We all have layers that we put on to protect ourselves. Once these layers come off, we are our true self. However, how often does anyone ever see anyone's true self? I'll explain how you can do this to make your man see you in a different light and to fall in love with you all over again.

1. How Many Layers Do You Have?

An onion has a certain number of layers. Each onion is different, but usually you can count about seven to eight different layers. How many layers do you think people have? It's a lot harder to count, but with some people, it can feel like you would never get down to their core, no matter how deep you go.

Some people are just scared of being judged. Some people don't want to be alone and feel left out of society. They would rather fit in on a superficial level than risk it all and try to find people who are more like their true selves.

2. Let's Take It Easy...

Sorry to go all deep and meaningful on you there. I'm not asking you to be totally, 100 percent honest and to simply not consider other people's feelings when you talk to them. You can show your true self to your man without having to be so intense so as to completely shed your outer layers. Here is how one of my exes did it in the past.

One time, I was visiting her. She's typically quite aloof and distant. I didn't get much affection from her. I snuck up on her when she was washing her dog and I was completely blown away by the love and affection she had for her dog.

3. Do I Get Any?

As soon as she saw me, she reverted to her normal calm and cool self. I jokingly told her about it and how I felt, simply putting it out there. I didn't expect anything, but later when we were alone, I was blown away by how tender she was.

I don't think she was trying to do it on purpose, but maybe she was just feeling vulnerable having being "caught out" by me at her most simple level. She really was a lovely girl and that's why I did date her.

So do you see how showing your core once in a while fits in with understanding men? Everyone has layers. If you simply take it all off and show us a gentler side of you, we will be swept away by your tenderness and love. This will only make us want to be more tender with you.

Jack Keys is married to a beautiful woman with whom he has a gorgeous daughter. Within 6 months of being married, they were already on the rocks. Using his degree in psychology, Jack analyzed what was wrong with their marriage and brought back their marriage into safe territory.

If understanding men is an issue for you, download Jack's free report that he wrote to try and help women learn about and solve men issues that put stress on marriage, such as what men really want out of a marriage (it's not sex, love or children), why your man is falling out of love with you and why he's ignoring what you're asking him to do

About the Author

Alison Brie - Men's Health Shoot (October 2010 Issue)